I tried to be normal and it almost killed me.
It was the day that marked the beginning of the end. I had just returned from gallivanting around Maui, living on a farm and then working at a restaurant, deprogramming my mind from all the cultural conditioning that was college.
My dream was, "travel the world, do crazy things and write about them."
But this one day after returning home in between adventures, I got into an argument with a family member and she screamed at me — "why can't you be normal?"
It hurt me deeply, and even though I still followed through on my plans to take the train cross country to Portland, Oregon, less than a year later, I ended up getting a journalism job.
I didn't connect the dots until recently, even though my intention in finding the newspaper job was to grow up and be an adult, aka be normal.
I had all these conceptions of what kind of job an adult had, and what you had to do to earn money or be worthy. Things like have a serious job, change the world, be normal, whatever that is.
I didn't believe in my capacity to earn an income from following my true dreams, and never stuck with any blogs I created.
Feeling the pressure to grow up, I became a journalist, and a damn good one, too. I won awards and my coverage even helped change a state law. But I felt dead inside. One day I wrote in my journal, "I have lost my zest for life," and soon after, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
It's been a long road of losing my mind, finding it again, learning how to believe in myself, rekindling old dreams even after I thought they were dead, and embracing a deep spiritual practice that provides the foundation for lasting peace and happiness that only grows richer with time.
At the core, it's about believing in yourself and loving yourself, no matter how crazy or weird you are — and if you're not a crazy dreamer, this community is not for you! It's about making your wild, illogical dreams come true and living the kind of life that makes you glad to be alive.
I lost my zest for life once. And I will never again compromise my truth in an effort to fit in.
I'm here to show you how it's done, to help you tune in and listen to your heart, love what you find, and create any kind of life you want to. Because you have the power. And if you have the desire, I can show you the way.
The best way to begin is to download the meditation below!
AS SEEN ON:
I love yoga, especially lazy yoga that involves mostly stretching to chill music. I love to dance, but don't do it nearly enough. I pretty much live in yoga clothes, partly because I don't leave the house enough. Hello, introvert.
I've always dreamed of being an actress or a rockstar. I love clothes and to express myself through fashion.
I try to eat healthy, but am obsessed with ice cream. (Have you tried Ben and Jerry's S'mores? OMG.) I live in the desert and hated it, allowing it to block my happiness until I realized the only true blocks were within.
In fact, this last thing — living someplace I hate — caused me a lot of inner turmoil but ended up completely changing my life. It inspired a deep spiritual journey that has made my life more meaningful and delicious than I ever could have imagined.