Does embracing the struggle mean you’ll never be happy?
If you embrace the struggle, decide to feel your pain and honor who you are — how can you be happy? If you embrace the struggle, does this mean your life will be one endless struggle? If so, what’s the point?
Someone asked me this on Instagram the other day and it’s such a great question I decided to dedicate this week’s blog post to it.
The essence to this answering this question is that your pain gives you passion.
Your pain IS passion.
Pain only continues to be painful when you resist it. This prevents it from moving through. Also, when you waste your time feeling afraid and cowering in the face of your pain, you deny your own strength. You’re not even giving yourself a chance to honor your strength because instead you’re identifying with and owning your fear.
To allow yourself to rise, you must create space for you to rise. Space to embrace the struggle. The irony is that once you embrace the struggle, there ceases to be a struggle.
Struggle can only exist in the face of resistance. So when you drop the resistance, you no longer have to struggle.
That means you allow yourself to ride the waves of anger, fear, sadness, isolation, envy, grief, remorse, the entire spectrum of the human experience.
But because you’re doing this from a place of strength, from a place of having rooted within yourself, which is what happens when you meditate with my Feeling Awareness meditation every day and learn how to be rooted in the present moment while riding these waves. Download that meditation below.
Then you allow yourself the gift of absorbing the power and wisdom of these emotions without falling victim to the story around these emotions.
Because when you stay trapped in the struggle, full of resistance, you’re attaching to a story and fear of the future. Fears about how life will always be hard. How life is against you. The universe never gives you want you want. That’s the story of the victim. But you’re here to learn how to be strong, how to be a warrior.
The warrior allows herself (or himself) to feel fully, knowing that the truth of this life is both pain and pleasure. Both melancholy and mayhem. Both bliss and broken.
Your true power comes from absorbing it all and opening yourself up to it all.
Because something that I’ve realized lately is that pain IS passion. Why do you think I’m so passionate about my right to feel? It’s not because I grew up in a house where my parents were always tuning into my needs and supporting me emotionally.
It’s because I grew up thinking I had to be strong and cold and never hurt. Stoic. And this messed me up a lot more than feeling, crying, screaming into pillows or breaking the silence inside my car with yells of rage. That’s feeling and processing. That’s healing. That’s POWER.
And that’s exactly why so many people are afraid to feel. Emotions are raw freaking power. Universal energy.
It’s ironic because people resist their pain because they don’t want to suffer, but this resistance creates more suffering.
Peace comes when you allow yourself to feel.
And will you have times where you feel overwhelmed by the immense pain in your heart? Where the waves of emotion rise up and you wonder how you will possibly ever swim? YES.
I do not sell the lie of eternal happiness and quite frankly I would never want to live a life that one dimensional. I am an artist. A healer.
I want to feel and create and understand my SOUL. And that happens through feeling. Through loving the struggle, honoring the pain, creating from my pain.
Not lashing out and feeling like a victim because of it. But understanding that every time I feel pain, that’s actually my inner power, passion and wisdom.
This doesn’t mean I go out of my way to feel pain. This isn’t about seeking out pain so you can feel wise or good about yourself like you’re so much deeper than everyone around you.
This is about staying connected to humanity and humanness.
And above all, it’s about expanding your energetic container so you can feel that inner haunting pain while it’s there, transforming that pain into something, whether it’s creativity or compassion or just sheer appreciation for the duality of life.
Soak it in. Love it. Feel it. Let it transform you and make you strong. And then let it go when it wants to leave. And in that space, you will find peace.
Peace, joy, happiness, these things come in waves, just like pain comes in waves. It’s only when you fully feel the pain that you fully open yourself up to the joy.
Now, I have bad news for you and good news.
Because you are here in this community, you have been born with a very specific task. You have been born with the blessing and curse of feeling everything really deeply.
The longer you spend wishing this wasn’t your fate, the longer you will suffer.
Your task now is to own that and honor that. Embrace how deeply you feel and realize that you will become so. freaking. powerful as soon as you allow yourself to feel. As soon as you stop wanting to be like everybody else.
As soon as you realize that we, the people who have been born with big, beautiful, haunted hearts, have an immense and valuable gift to give to the world. But dear heart, you can’t give your gifts, your medicine to the world, until you allow yourself to receive it.
So meditate. Every day. Feel your feelings. Dig deep and find your inner strength. Let go of the story. Let go of the fear. Understand that you were born for this.
You were born to feel, to transform that pain into passion (because they are the same thing. PAIN IS PASSION), and know that when you do feel that pain and stop wanting it to be different, stop wanting your waters to be calm all the time, you will find that passion. You will find your life purpose. And you will even find peace in your heart.
But that peace won’t be a fake peace.
Not the kind of peace where you need life to be perfect or even for you to feel a certain way. This will be the deepest kind of peace. Full, radical, unconditional acceptance for exactly who you are. What you came to this earth to do. And how you’re going to transform the world just by showing up in all your blazing glory.
So. Now that we’re on the same page. Tell me again why you want it to be easy?
Don’t wish for it to be easy. Thank God / the universe / all that is good and holy in the world that you were born with such a big heart. The world needs you to learn how to feel. To fall out of its useless search for perfection and instead honor how soul satisfying it feels to soak in the haunting glory of how much every single cell in your body relishes the glory of being alive.
Did this resonate with you? Click the social media buttons to share this with another powerful, sensitive soul. Together we will transform the world.