Many people fear facing their emotions, instead running away from the pain. I refer to this as the pain of pain. The pain of pain is the original discomfort, plus the discomfort of resistance. It’s possible to spend your entire life in this place, resisting your emotions.
This place doesn’t feel good. It divorces you from your true self, leads to doubt and confusion. You can’t find a moment of peace because your entire being is wasting all of its energy into subduing this monster of resistance that seems to grow more fierce with each passing day.
But you are different. You are here reading this, and that shows you have already begun to stop resisting your emotions, or at the very least, are considering it. You know something more expansive exists beyond this wall of pain and you are committed to discovering what magical mystery lies beyond.
Ignite the hope in your heart of an infinite sea of peace beyond this resistance. Allow that hope to inspire your continued work of dissolving emotional pain.
The spiritual journey of integrating dark and light calls on us to face periods of darkness that are equal in intensity to the light we intermittently experience. As we heal on deeper levels, deeper wounds surface, requiring us to again dive deep. You must choose over and over to stop resisting your emotions.
The deeper you dive, the more painful the healing becomes, but also the greater the reward.
Advanced shadow work training: Learn to release the root of anxiety and sadness.
The especially deep wounds in your life have created areas of resistance that take a while to identify. You may have worked through more surface wounds, but the core wounds that developed in childhood may continue to plague you.
The good news is that the most painful, deep areas of resistance are those with the greatest potential for healing. Once you feel these wounds from the inside out and work with them, your life can finally start to expand from a place of freedom, instead of moving away from your greatest fears.
Why do we resist?
Resistance develops when your actual life or feelings differ from the ideal you have in your head. It appears when people or situations trigger your greatest fears. This may be the fear of abandonment, isolation, loss of personal power, feeling that you’re not protected, don’t have enough or are unable to speak your truth.
To stop resisting your emotions and go deeper is a process of unearthing these core fears and realizing that you have everything you need inside of you. Trust that you are here to heal and move beyond. You are a human being full of creative potential with the ability to create any type of life you want.
Your life’s repetitive patterns developed directly from the choices you made.
You make choices based on how you see things, the lens of your perception. This perception is influenced by your deepest, core wounds. These wounds are so impossibly deep that they’re sometimes hard to see. They’re often created during your initial years of development, and are such a big part of how you see the world that you may feel like they’re an intrinsic part of you. But they’re not.
You can change your beliefs, dissolve negative energy by feeling it, and in doing so, clear your lens of perception and create an entirely new life. You might be resisting your emotions, hoping reality will change, but reality can only change once you surrender and accept what is.
Often, the vision of your ideal life involves the exact opposite of the wound you’re working to heal. In this case, your ideal life is an ego-driven vision and not one from the heart.
For example, if you feel desperately alone because of conditions from childhood, your ideal vision may include a tribe of supportive friends or a wonderfully supportive mate. Until you heal this feeling of aloneness, you will be forever searching for this ideal life. It will be so close you can taste it, but your unhealed wounds will not allow it. They will keep you in unconscious patterns that continually create the exact situations you fear.
You may periodically accept your fate, dive into other things and allow yourself to expand from a place of surrender. Along the journey of surrender, the irritation of resistance will arise again and again. This happens for several reasons.
- You must heal at increasingly deep levels. As you evolve spiritually, you must face your wounds of the past to understand them in fresh ways.
- Life is one part surrender and one part creative evolution. If you only surrendered, you would just be a puddle of energy on the floor. An important part of a vibrant life is harnessing your creative power and creating the life your soul desires.
This harnessing of this personal power must come from a place of surrender after you stop resisting your emotions. The balance of surrendering and creating is like a seesaw. As you surrender, you let go, and this letting go creates space for change and growth.
Each time you surrender and stop resisting your emotions, you receive more personal power to create the life that is true for you — not the life that you desire because it’s the opposite of your wounds, but the life that truly reflects your highest being.
As you use your personal power to uplevel your life and create something special, inevitably you will soon arrive to another place of resistance. This speed bump will force you to surrender a bit more. Again, you must choose to stop resisting your emotions and instead feel them in awareness.
Each period of letting go invokes more fear than the last because you’re going deeper into your being, clearing away more debris from the truth of who you are.
This process allows you to live free from your wounds instead of constantly responding to them.
And so you trust. You trust that each day or minute in your life that is peppered with resistance is there for your greatest evolution. Only by trusting that life unfolds in accordance for your highest good can you truly stop resting your emotions and instead feel them in awareness.
If you choose to surrender again, you will immediately receive an extra dose of personal power to again uplevel your life.
Your decision may vacillate from one moment to the next, and each moment is a fresh opportunity to choose again. It’s okay to feel. Okay to get angry. Okay to cry. Stop resisting your emotions by feeling the pain.
Life teaches you by throwing you up against everything you’re scared of and then says — hey, you get to choose. Do you want to choose fear and run in the direction of your wounds or do you choose to surrender?
To surrender, stop resisting your emotions and believe that everything you’re resisting is here to teach you, to heal your core wounds.
This second path requires patience and strength. It requires endurance. It requires you to feel and trust that you have a special place in this universe.
Face those wounds, stop resisting your emotions, summon up your personal power, and find the balance. And then you will find freedom.
Questions for reflection: How have your core fears influenced your key decisions so far in life? Share your story below! It’s healing and you can help others along the path.
Share this article with someone struggling to accept their life or their emotions.