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A happy heart comes from a happy life, and by that I mean a life that offers the energetic seeds for happiness.
You can’t ignore your unconscious wounds and expect to blossom. Or allow your mind to spew limiting beliefs about how you’re not worthy. Or skip self-care, allowing everyone else to receive before you, and expect to feel joy.
Yet, when this happens, it’s too easy to blame ourselves. Wonder what’s wrong with us for not beaming with glee while the rest of the world posts glowing selfies on social media.
I’ve been in the uncomfortable push and pull between the emotional work I became well-known for and the mindset work I began to embark upon as an entrepreneur.
In a lot of ways I lost myself, trying to become someone who I’m not, or rather, try to achieve something I desire in a way that’s not natural to me. This did not help me have a happy heart.
It’s easy to admire those who’ve achieved what we want to and replicate their path without considering how well it fits with our true nature.
The soulful journey, the path to a happy heart, a life lived with soul requires both:
Not only must the goal fully align with our hearts, but the path there must also align.
This is where it gets tricky because it’s not that one person is wrong or right. There is no wrong or right, except how something feels.
If it feels good, then it’s for you. And if it doesn’t? Well then, it’s not.
Part of my struggle is that I’m an idea whore and love to learn about everything. I’ll literally go from reading Warrior Goddess Training or a book about the chakras (current fave is Eastern Body, Western Mind) to things like The 10x Rule about achieving insane results by people like Grant Cardone.
For a long time I felt like I had to choose. But now I feel like integrating these ideas in a way that makes sense to me, in a way that allows me to find peace within, is part of my path because the ideas may not vibe in the outer world, but the do in my inner world.
My heart, mind and soul is the central point where these divergent ideas meet.
Too often in our world, we try to fit into categories.
I’m a yogi or I follow A Course in Miracles or I love the Law of Attraction.
When I first started this journey — well, way back I was into Buddhism, but more recently — I was a yogi. That path filled my heart with a lot of peace but at a certain level I got tired of hearing about how I needed to drop all my attachments.
I like my effing attachments. I am heavy in desire for an amazing, extraordinary, ultra sensory and epically glamorous, luxurious life that exceeds my wildest dreams.
I don’t want to suffer over these attachments, but I do want to find a way to let them co-exist with peace.
So then I dropped the yogi thing entirely, which coincided with a wrist injury, and have been exploring other philosophies.
Mindset work is heavy in the online entrepreneur community, and I’ve been working really hard to expand my ideas of what’s possible through unwinding my limiting beliefs.
This work has given me great confidence and expanded my income wildly — I quadrupled my income this year from last and for the first time made a full-time living from my blog, which is not something many people are able to do.
But then I got too heavy into that — yes, I am an extremist — and began to lose the heart. I began to judge my feelings again, view them as annoying things to deal with when my heart was only crying out — this is not the exact right perfect path for you. Go within.
Finally, I did. I went within.
And this is what I’m coming up with to live with a happy heart: Somehow, someway, my journey is to live all these paths simultaneously. To find that central meaning point.
To live feelings and heart first, to drop beyond the mind as much as possible because all wounds and limitations dissolve in remembrance of our true nature, but then to also notice my mind. Not as mere fluctuations to be silenced, or things that hinder, but also things that can help.
The mind is an insanely powerful tool, and I choose not to ignore it or demonize it. But who I am is an intensely sensitive person who must honor her heart. And I am being called to live in the body through the emotions, and my explorations there offered through my words is part of my gift to the world.
The hard thing about this is that I’ve become really attached to my mentors. I’ve invested in myself heavily and every cent has paid off, but I began to look outside myself for answers.
I began to believe that they had solutions, which is not what they’re teaching me at all. I’m fortunate to have chosen amazing mentors, but I began to believe that to achieve something close to what they achieved, I had to follow the same path.
And now, about 2 years in to making a living with my heart, soul and words, I’m finally realizing. There are no rules. There is no clear-cut path because we are all pioneers on our own path with heart.
And the more you can honor that your heart holds all the truths you’ll ever need, that nobody else has the answers, that ultimately nobody knows better than you, you’ll find that peace. That happy heart.
Because at the end of the day, that’s all that really matters.
Whatever makes you happy. I love setting and chasing big goals. It gives me a happy heart.
Maybe you’re happy in a beach hut in Costa Rica. (Though that sounds amazing, too.)
I just hope this note inspires you to set your own goals, find your own path, and believe that everything you need is already in side of you. That no matter what’s happened in your past, you can have a happy heart.
Other people can help, offer support, but ultimately, the journey is a solo one. One within and without. One grand and scary. But always worthwhile. As long as you believe.
And remember, love hard and live free to become who you’re meant to be.
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