// This article is for you if you’ve ever wondered if following your dreams is realistic. //
On an interview today, someone asked me to describe my biggest failure and the lessons learned from it.
Tuning in, the response surprised me.
My biggest failure wasn’t anything to do with my passion work.
It was something subconscious I’ve been holding onto, and that I don’t fully understand.
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I felt deep down that abandoning journalism in favor of following my heart, my soul’s calling, was a failure.
This kinda makes sense on the level of failure’s true definition, which is to give up. You can’t fail if you keep going.
But I didn’t quit journalism because I wasn’t successful.
On the contrary, I won multiple first-place awards, helped to change state law, and, as a freelancer, scored cover stories for my metro’s largest magazine and had editors reach out to ME for major assignments, which was an early goal I had set.
That’s why this response caught me off guard.
Sometimes I do wonder about this parallel journalism life possibly playing out in another dimension.
Would I have been successful? (meaning — would I have won bigger awards, broke into the big boys like the NY Times, Vanity Fair and The New Yorker like I wanted?) would I have been happy?
I’ll never know.
That’s one of the difficult things about picking a path, even the soul-aligned one.
On one level, saying yes to your heart is undeniable. If you don’t, your soul cries, and then your body dies.
To me, that’s why following your dream is completely realistic. What’s the alternative? To die with an unloved life inside, always wondering what if?
I don’t believe you can be fully happy if you’e not doing soul work, no matter how rich or famous or successful you become.
But on another level… all those alternate paths. Unlived lives.
/quiet voice/ And the chance to make people happy. The people who you risked disappointing when you said yes to your soul.
The people you risked relationships with when you said, sorry.
I know you would rather me do what’s safe and certain and socially acceptable, but I’m going to go over here and do this woo woo thing, this heart and soul thing, and it’s probably not going to win me any awards, and who knows if my dreams of fame and riches FROM SOUL WORK will come true, but ultimately, it doesn’t matter.
I have to do this. I can’t not. It’s in my heart, with every beat of my soul. Still. That unlived life.
Why was this failure?
An ending? An acknowledgment that I’ll never fully meet the expectations of others that I thought I’d left behind, but somewhere, deep in my soul, I still carry with me?
In truth, the only reality is the one we create.
The only reason we consider something unrealistic is because of the expectations and limitations of those around us. Click To Tweet
All we have to do is create our own expectations. Make our own rules. Carve our own reality.
I know this now. I didn’t a few years ago.
It was hard to become a blogger. My ego took a big hit. I had wanted a socially impressive career.
Nobody knows what the fuck I do. People in real life assume I make no money and live off my husband. Nobody takes me seriously.
I would say, maybe it’s because I don’t take myself seriously, but even this guy I know who’s like a 7-fig internet marketer, one of the biggest names online today, received a snarky comment from a lady at a coffee shop about how he probably lives at home and mooches off his parents when he told her that he works online.
But it’s not just about working online.
It’s a whole new paradigm, of following your heart, doing your creative work, the work that bleeds from your soul, and knowing, trusting and believing that you can make good money doing it.
Employer-based security is gone, anyway. (As if working 50-hour weeks and begging for permission to work on things you’re actually good at was ever security.)
We may as well bet on ourselves.
Us spiritual starlets, we are smart, talented, often from educated families that came with privilege and also expectation.
Bucking that expectation to follow your heart feels intimidating.
Not only are you doing something that feels flakey and woo woo and you’re not fully sure you’ll be able to live the life you want monetarily…
But there’s this guilt.
Guilt like: I have so much to offer the world and *this* is what I do?
Like – really? I’m going to be a blogger?
Yes. a blogger. And I’m going to sell online courses and coaching and change people’s mother effing lives by helping them love themselves and follow their dreams.
Because it matters. It matters to me and it matters to you, and it makes me happy.
I’m here to help others, but I’m also here to be happy.
I’m not here to live my days out in martyrdom, feeling responsible for saving the world or pleasing society.
I’m here to say yes to my soul. To make her happy. To express the truth of who she is, and change the world just be being me.
I believe we are creating a new world. A world where creativity is celebrated and weirdness is a virtue.
We are already living in a new economy — more people are Ubering and Lfyting and Rovering (the new dog walking service!)
It’s a gig economy.
We have opportunity, yo.
We shouldn’t feel guilty about that.
We are the lucky citizens of Earth with the privilege of being alive at this time, in a position where we have the resources to create anything we desire.
It’s not selfish to use the resources we have to create our heart’s desires. It’s selfish not to.
It’s ungrateful to all those who came before us (or us in past lives?) for whom life was nasty, brutish and short, who slaved away to improve the globe for future generations.
The divine order is unfolding. This is how it’s meant to be.
It’s okay to question whether we’re good enough, or if what we want matters, or if our parents will hate us, or society will laugh at us.
It’s okay to wonder if giving up on an old dream makes you a failure.
But you can’t listen to those voices.
Because this is your life. And you were given talents and gifts. You were given dreams and goals and desires.
Following them is part of the universe’s plan. Who are you to mess with divine order?
You have no idea how following your weird and whimsical longings will impact the word. But you better believe, it will.
Not in the way your parents wanted for you, or the way your college teachers would oooh and ahhh over.
If you want to make a living following your heart and create all your crazy dreams…
You have to notice those voices, honor the unsaid expectations…
And choose yourself.
Honor your path.
Let go and be free.
Maybe a part of me thinks I’m a failure for following my heart (have to work on that), but I’ll never go back.
I feel more fulfilled and on purpose than I ever could have imagined.
I spent a long time dreaming of this day.
The day when I would write words straight from my heart and have people waiting and excited to read them.
The day when I would be known for my own ideas, and not just my ability to articulate others’.
The day when I could make (fabulous) money following my heart and prove to everyone that…
The crazy girl with big ideas wasn’t so crazy after all.
She’s exactly who she’s supposed to be.
Did this resonate with you?
Comment below and let me know!
All the love,
The other day I received an email from a beautiful woman named Sophi who took my course Self-Love Supernova last year.
When she first took the course, she called it, “more moving and transformative than I could have imagined.”
“This course helped me to drop the resistance I had to really looking at my struggles, feeling the emotions, and digging deep into the source.
“My childhood was good so I never even thought of diving into that but it was so healing to see the source of some of my patterns. I have more insight into why I am the way I am!”
And since taking the course last year, she started a blog: simplysophi.com.
“I…truly don’t think I could’ve done it without your inspiration and taking your Self-Love Supernova course,” Sophi said.
SLS is one of the most powerful courses I’ve created!
It’s short — only four weeks, but goes way deeper than most self-love courses, which tend to be shallow and focus on shit that doesn’t matter.
Through daily readings and powerful journaling prompts (I’m known for creating life-changing ones!), you’ll go through the process of releasing deeper patterns that keep you denying your desires and shoving your sparkly self in a cage.
This inner work is the most important you’ll ever do, and I am a master at helping you unlock the shifts you’ve been longing for.
And good news!
Until Friday, I’m offering an awesome special when you join Self-Love Supernova, the course for magical beings who want to stop hiding and apologizing, skyrocket their self-worth and feel deeply, unconditionally loved in four weeks.
When you join today, you’ll get a free month in my new membership community, The Society of Spiritual Starlets, when it launches (a $33 value) AND a group coaching call to ask me any questions that come up ($149 value)!
If you’re tired of not fully shining like the star that you are, it’s time to invest in yourself and make a change!
Join here before Friday, June 1, at midnight Eastern to take advantage of this special offer.