My energy has been alllll over the place lately — one minute feeling like I’m at the start of something amazing and the next feeling like I’m working through old stuff that I thought was long gone.
Maybe it’s the eclipse season? Not sure, but makes me feel better putting it in that context!
Anyway, a few ideas were percolating in my mind and heart for this week’s blog post, and at one point I realized that as soon as I have a cool insight about life, my immediate reaction is to want to share it.
That’s an awesome reaction, and following this desire to share my life and insights has created a lot of positive change. But everything has a shadow, and the shadow to this desire is that a lot of times I forget to keep something for myself.
I think we can all relate to this at some level. Maybe you struggle with keeping time for yourself, or money or energy, attention.
Or maybe you, too, feel the desire to share a lot on social media and end up sharing too much, illuminating all your moments with the glow of your iPhone instead the glow of your attention.
It’s easy for people, especially women who thrive on feeling needed, to feel like we need to give all of ourselves away in order to receive the love we desire. Instead, it’s helpful to create the time and intention to receive our own love, and give to the world from that place of overflow.
Why does this matter?
As I talk about in my course Self-Love Supernova, self-love is a relationship to yourself. Keeping things for yourself is part of the foundation of that self-relationship.
If you give all your time away, you have none left to truly know and understand yourself on a deep level.
If you give all your money away, you never have dolla bills left over to treat yourself to a massage or save up for that awesome vacation or other life-changing experience that requires an investment.
If you give all your attention away, you end up spending your entire life focused on caring for others or comparing yourself to them. During the spare empty moments, you’re not sure who you are or even if you like yourself, alone, without the distraction.
Are you enough?
The core belief underneath giving everything away…
Is that you don’t deserve it. We’re constantly trying to prove our worth by giving everything away in hopes that we’ll receive love from others that we really long for from ourselves.
The energy of love is the energy of sitting alongside yourself.
I had kind of a rough day this weekend, was feeling a little sad, and I suddenly noticed tension around this sadness, the energy of struggling and judgment, wondering how I can lift myself back up.
And then I breathed into that tension and surrendered. This really beautiful moment followed where my spirit expanded.
My spirit enveloped my small self and sat down along side of me. We became one and I remembered that the true task of this life is to cultivate that unconditional self-love, which truly is the willingness to love ourselves, sit with ourselves, no matter what’s happening.
Sometimes I worry that I focus on this too much, that I don’t convey the forward momentum needed enough to change your life. Because you do need to follow that acceptance up with the right life shifts but it starts here — by sitting alongside yourself. Show up and ask yourself, “what do I need right now?”
In my case, it was a really delicious, slow yoga practice, breathing into all the stiff places in my body and connecting to my spirit even more.
I feel better now, but that’s not the point. The point is that I’m connected.
The amount of joy we feel in life is directly related to how connected we are to ourselves and the universe. To the energy of love.
Love is what heals us.
Love is what helps us shift out of fear and false perception into the fullness of possibility and presence. Presence is love. Come back to your breath. To your heart. To the knowing that everything is perfect as it is, and you are enough exactly as you are.
To stay connected, you’ve to keep something for yourself. To have the time, energy and resources to truly drop in and give yourself what your heart wants. Not just the necessary things but the indulgences, too. They matter.
Savor it. And know in every part of your body that you deserve to receive it.
I hope this blog post resonated with you! Comment with your thoughts below and share on social media if it did!
And remember, live free, love hard!
p.s. Would you like to discover a powerful method of self-inquiry using meditation?
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