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March 26, 2016

How to surrender (and the question that immediately dissolves resistance)

how to surrender

If the word surrender makes you feel like life will immediately squash you with a Mack truck while you helplessly flail your arms, you’re definitely not alone.

That’s what keeps so many of us struggling against reality while searching for ways to flow like water. That fear keeps us trapped.

In the first part of this series, we explored this insanity that keeps us futilely fighting for internal harmony, and I shared my story of morphing from a girl trapped in the throes of resistance to one alive and on fire.

If you missed that article, check it out here. It’s super important to fully realize the insanity of what’s happening because that gives you the needed motivation to change.

But today, we explore how to surrender. And next week, you’ll discover the essential secret ingredient for creating lasting change and becoming who you truly are.

You’ll also learn more about The Big Shift, the transformational program of massive healing designed to help you say hello to your soul.

 

What is surrender?

Surrender is giving up the hope for the present moment to be different than it is. When you think of it like that, living any other way is pure insanity.

We waste years, sometimes lifetimes, wishing for the present moment to be different than it is, and even planning or worrying about what we’ll do when things change.

But reality is reality, and it will never change. Things may be different tomorrow, sure, but right now is right now and to truly unlock the power of the present moment along with our immense human power of co-creation, we must accept this moment and learn how to surrender.

Even deeper, surrender means trusting that everything is happening for a reason. It’s believing that you have the power and talent to handle whatever life throws your way. And you do. The second you believe you do, you do. If you believe you don’t, you don’t.

This is a balance. Too much surrender and we morph into dead fish floating on top of a fishbowl, defenseless as our sad owner — who probably forgot to feed us — flushes us down the toilet. Too much fight and we break like a surfboard chopped in half by a merciless wave.

The goal is to find that middle ground, that sweet spot where we’re on the surfboard, riding the wave, hanging 10 and exhilarated by the excitement of feeling utterly in tune with life. Wild. Free.

In our war and fear-mongering world, surrender has a bad connotation. It’s considered weak and insecure, not confident, clear and strong.

It actually takes a lot of strength to learn how to surrender and ride the wave in front of you, not the one your friend is riding. Look over at her wave too long, and you’re bound to topple off your surfboard.Control is only an illusion anyway, and the more we surrender, the more personal power we have.

That’s because we’re not wasting our energy in resistance. Learning how to surrender frees us up to live with more joy and ease. It opens us up to possibility.

 

How to surrender effortlessly

Method No. 1:

Ask the question, “So now what?”

This question is awesome. It instantly flips your internal dialogue from listing all the things that could go wrong or should be happening differently and instead flickers your awareness on like a flashlight searching for a doorway. There’s always a door.

This question forces you to accept what’s happening right now, at this moment, and primes your mind to see possibility. Flowing with life requires a little bit of a mindset shift.

It requires us to stop throwing ourselves against obstacles and instead ask that question — okay, so now what?

>>>  Do you want to give up? Yes, it’s an option. If it doesn’t feel right and nothing is working out, then maybe the universe is telling you to move on.

>>> Do you want to try another way? Maybe you need to research, read books, talk to people, or even meditate and find that doorway in the obstacle.

>>> Maybe this obstacle is meant to redirect you into something better. When you believe that good things come from seemingly bad things — because nothing is truly all good or all bad — this is akin to turning on that flashlight. It creates the possibility for expansion.

>>> Maybe this obstacle is here to teach you. Yes, sometimes life is Kali, the fierce warrior goddess, and we must be humble and learn. The moment you surrender is the moment you open yourself up to learn and move on, or at the very least, reduce suffering, which is all you really want anyway.

 

Without surrender, we end up wasting all our energy focusing on how life keeps punishing us, we’re doomed, and nothing ever works out.

 

And yes, with that mindset, life will keep giving you that experience. Change your mindset and create new opportunities for expansion.

 

Method No. 2

The mind body connection is who we are, and sometimes a great way to release resistance in the mind is to release it from the body.

>>> Forward folds are the poses of surrender. Try paschimottanasana, seated forward fold, or upavistha konasana, wide legged forward fold. Prop your butt up on a pillow if your hamstrings are tight for either pose.

>>> Stretch the shoulders. The shoulders are the place where we hold the weight of the world. Sometimes if I’m stressed at night after a long day, I’ll spend a few minutes on my shoulders and it’s the yoga equivalent of taking a Xanax.

Down puppy is a great pose, but I also invite you to play. Experiment with moving your arms in different planes around your body, above the head, to the side, and see what feels good.

Taking the time to explore which areas feel tight in your body and experimenting to discover those poses that feel good to you is powerful.

The essence of that self-exploration is meeting your soul through working with the body, removing ideas of what other people tell you to do and embarking on that intimate exploration by yourself. This self-knowledge and exploration creates more personal power.

 

So now you have two ways to immediately shift into surrender. Next week, you’ll the secret to making these shifts last and learn more about the program for massive healing.

 

What is your relationship to surrender? Share your story in the comments.

Image by pmmarkham via Flickr

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