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November 6, 2017

Try this unusual way to realize your deepest desires

unusual way to realize your deepest desires

​Oh the rage. The frustration. The straight up angst of wanting what you don’t have, longing to fulfill a desire you have no idea how to fulfill, but wanting to realize your deepest desires.

The mind-blowing intensity of seeing exactly who you’re meant to be. And then opening your eyes to be let down by the life before your eyes, right now.

The horror.

I guess as a “spiritual guru,” I shouldn’t say such things. Good thing I AM NOT A SPIRITUAL GURU. I have never once said that I was. I did call myself a teacher a few times, but as I dig deeper into my soul and connect more fully to my true purpose, I’ve realized I’m a writer. Always have been and always will.

 

 

A writer who offers courses that will change your life, no question, and occasionally offers mentoring to smart, soulful people who know they were made for more and must have it now.

Also to come: Many, many books, at least one of which will become a NY Times bestseller. And at least one of which will become a movie made after my crazy life. Who will the actress be?!

To commemorate this dramatic shift from trying to be someone I’m not because I was still unclear on exactly who I was, into knowing my soul deeply and stepping into a whole new level of emboldened confidence, I bought some ridiculously amazing sunglasses that scream Queen. (I am the Queen of Authenticity. If you don’t know, now you know.) Check them out here.

 

Back to the rage. And the frustration. The relentless, unrequited desire that could drive a woman mad.

Amid an insanely generous outpouring, a flood really, of support last week from this amazing community, the people who totally get the vision of this becoming THE gathering place for smart, soulful women and men who want to break free from all external expectations to embrace true freedom, their amazing eccentricities, and blinding intelligence to become who they’re meant to be.

The place where sensitivity is a superpower and being downright weird is an entry requirement. (I think I’ll create a test, to see how weird people are. And kick the normals out. Because mediocrity is death.)

Anyway, amid this generous outpouring that blew my heart open, one former student wrote me that I was being aggressive and questioned the energy I was bringing to my life. She suggested that I was falling off the path of peace. And I wasn’t offended this time, because the haters ignited my inner fire to a whole new level.

I’ve never felt more clear, confident and certain, and I’m so grateful for the experience. If you’re a hater, you’re a fan!

 

The point of all of this is that aggression can be good! 

It can help you realize your deepest desires. You don’t want to lose your soul in anger, but frustration, anger, aggression — these things can all be used to inspire forward momentum and change your life. Anger can become passion, used to fuel incredible action.

Just make sure you’re working toward building a new vision instead of fighting against the old. Fighting against things never works, in your personal life or with activism. Always build something new.

In life, it’s not until after getting so tired of suffering, or so over the way things have been, that you truly develop the tenacity to realize your deepest desires. You NEED a little frustration to ignite your inner passion, remove resistance and do that which you previously lacked enough oomph to overcome if you want to realize your deepest desires.

 

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Anger, frustration and aggression are bad when….

You stay locked in victim mode, blaming other people for your circumstances. We all do this. Just last night I got a bad night’s rest and blamed my husband for tossing and turning. But come on, it’s really that I’ve been going to bed too late for too long, ate too many M&Ms at my mother-in-law’s house, and have fallen off my exercise routine.

I’m eager to break into a new level, and the first thing that has to shift is my habits. But in order to change them, it sure helps to get super frustrated with the way things are!

I’m also embodying a deeper level of confidence and self-belief than I ever have before and you know a great way to find the inspiration? To be so frustrated and over your current state that you absolutely cannot continue the way things are. Cannot. That’s the only way we ever change.

 

There’s a point at which all this fire sabotages you.

And that’s when it legit starts making you unhappy. At best, it should be an inspiration. A way to fuel you to make necessary changes, do uncomfortable things and stretch beyond your comfort zone in the name of growth and evolution, to realize your deepest desires.

But you have to be unattached to the outcome. Still accepting of what is. That may seem like an oxymoron, but you can only truly change once you’ve accepted the way things are.

Think of how the first step to shift if you’re say, an addict, is to admit that you have a problem. It’s all about acceptance.

Change isn’t built on resistance but acceptance and frustration. Click To Tweet

This is where a lot of spirituality clashes with the needs of soulful, ambitious people like us. We’re told to just accept, just let go, and not given a clear pathway to realize your deepest desires.

If you accept things you’re not happy with, you find peace, but too often, you soon fall back into old patterns. Or your peace is predicated not on true empowerment, but on drowning your deepest, soul desires in self-help and deep breathing.

Nevertheless, you have to trust it’s all working out for the greatest good. You have to trust the timing of the universe and have faith so deep that everything is working out for you exactly as it’s meant to, as long as you are taking the action that needs to be taken in order to realize your deepest desires.

This is that balance of stoking the fire, feeding it with fresh wood to keep it roaring, without making it so big that you get burned.

A balance. It’s not easy. But nothing worthwhile ever is.

 

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A lot of people can’t stop themselves from getting burned, engulfed in the fire of unrequited desire. 

And so they extinguish their fire all together. Become placid and boring and “go with the flow, man,” all while wasting their true potential, never realizing their dreams, and never really getting what they want, just taking small, friendly steps that will never bother anyone or make a difference.

But even if you’re so peaceful and compassionate and NICE, and you feel good about your Zen-like world, if you’re truly one of us, your heart will always long for more — to realize your deepest desires.

If you’re not careful, instead of tempting fate and facing the occasional burn, you’ll pour water on your soul and true desires, settling for the crumbs that fall your way.

 

Crumbs! You can’t change the world with crumbs.

Why spend your life finding satisfaction with what’s left over? And yet so many people live their lives this way. Making do with the crumbs of time, money and energy that are left over after everyone else’s needs are satisfied because they’re afraid of taking what they truly want. Not asking, mind you. Taking.

Living on crumbs is no way to live. Not for me, not for you, and not for anyone who has big dreams and things to do in this crazy wide world where anything is possible as long as you believe. (And as long as you have a good fire suit. Maybe an oxygen mask, too.)

One more problem I have with the you’re-just-so-aggressive-and-full-of-desire-quiet-down police is especially when women say this to other women. It’s straight up girl-on-girl violence. Essentially saying, sit down, shut up and be a good girl.

The same bullshit we’ve been fed for centuries. And I don’t know about you, but I was not born to be a good girl.

I was born to be wild. Born to be crazy. Born to blow through this world with my mad, crazy self, Queen of Authenticity sunglasses in tow and smiling as the fire blazes all around me. Because baby, I was born to be a star. And if you’re in this community, I’m guessing you were, too.

And today, starting today in a fresher, bolder way, I am taking a leap forward for both of us. And I’m going to guide you, and everyone else in this community, to a place where your dreams come true, you turn every obstacle into fuel for the fire, you learn your life lessons, and every drop of pain transmutes into passion.

Because you know the joy that’s coming. You’ve got a fire in your eyes. And nobody can stop you now. Nobody.

What’s currently frustrating you? What breakthroughs is life inviting you to make to realize your deepest desires? Share your thoughts in the comments below! Feel free to connect with others and start a conversation!

I hope this resonated with you!

 

Lots of love,

Suzanne

p.s. Ready to deepen your soulful journey with an online course? Check out your options here.

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Sarah Neumann - November 7, 2017 Reply

I absolutely love you Suzanne! I am new to the community and have enjoyed every moment. I couldn’t help but laugh out loud when you were talking about your fans, falling off the peace wagon and haters…. I tell my 10 year old the same thing you wrote about… that our haters are our fans and it only motivates us to continue keeping on! Let the haters drink the hatorade! Ha ha! ….. People don’t like different and my 10 year old and I are different. We are unique….special…the square pegs in the round holes. 🙂 Exactly what you are writing about. It’s a blessing and I appreciate you and your guidance as I myself begin working through inner struggles. I am a fan.
Lots of love,
Sarah Neumann

    Suzanne - November 7, 2017 Reply

    Hi Sarah,

    Love it! I love how you’re teaching your daughter such an awesome way to look at the world. You two sound like an amazing pair.

    So glad you found your way here. Thank you so much for the kind words.

    From one square peg to another!

    Lots of love,
    Suzanne

Tammi H. - November 7, 2017 Reply

Hello Ms. Heyn, I am shaking as I type this. I have been reading your posts for quite awhile now. I really don’t know how long because in my mind, time has been standing still. You see, my Pappy (maternal granddad) passed away last February. I remember the exact day and time. February 11, 2017 at 2:05 P.M. It is a day that completely turned my world upside down. My Pappy was my Dad, not in a biological sense but in all the ways that mattered. I didn’t realize until it was too late that he was my biggest cheerleader. If you could look up unconditional love in a magical dictionary, you would see my Pappy’s name. Even when I disappointed him (he let me know it, haha) he loved me no matter what. He would stand back as I stumbled through life, only stepping in with his little nuggets of wisdom. He taught by example. My Pappy had the best attitude of anyone I ever met. In the face of a leaky roof, broken down truck and low funds, he would say with a little laugh and smile, “you’ll have these things.” My Pappy taught me even in the face of overwhelming odds, I must keep going and believe in brighter days ahead. My Pappy was a very spiritual person and had the biggest faith in God. I didn’t understand how he could not be angry when his body was being eaten away by cancer. I was extremely angry at God for putting my Pappy through hell. A couple months before he died, he was almost deaf, he could hardly walk or take care of himself. A month before he passed, he got a detached retina (a wonderful genetic issue) I’ve had two detachments and thankfully got my sight back through awful operations. But I digress as my Pappy would say. I would like to tell you that your posts resonate with me so much, I feel you are speaking directly to me!It is uncanny how the topics are so timely in my life. Just last night my counselor and I discovered I have deep anger issues resulting from sexual abuse from a stepfather. My estimate is the abuse happened from ages 5 to 11. thankfully my Mom got rid of him when I was 11. My Mom had endured his abuse for too long as well. Anyway, I guess I just wanted to share with you how much your writing means to a an extremely sensitive soul, as myself. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

    Suzanne - November 7, 2017 Reply

    Hi Tammi! What a beautiful recount of your Pappy. He sounds like such a wonderful man. It’s awesome you had a chance to know him and receive his guidance. I’m deeply sorry for your loss and can’t imagine how painful that must be for you.

    I’m also really sorry to hear of the sexual abuse. Glad to hear that you’ve begun the deep, painful work of healing. I know it will all be worth it.

    Sending so much love,
    Suzanne

    Sarah Neumann - November 9, 2017 Reply

    Hi Tammi,
    Your writing is beautiful and your story is amazing. I am sorry for all the pain you have gone through and are going through. I am an abuse (all kinds) and trauma survivor myself. I am beginning a new therapy in a few weeks and am new to this community. I wanted to thank you for your bravery in telling your story and let you know you are a light for those that are stuck in the darkness. 🙂
    Lots of love,
    Sarah

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