Your needs and desires matter, regardless of whether they make you feel like a burden.
They are sacred expressions of your true self, your soul, your requirements for living a beautiful, thriving life instead of a soul-destroying one.
Suppressing your needs and desires, your emotions, your craving for space, for rest, to do nothing and also your craving to create, to move, to explore, to be free —
Suppressing any of these things represses your life force energy.
Lethargy, joylessness, lack of passion and enthusiasm inevitably result.
Yet instead of honoring your desires and needs, finally breaking free, it’s all to easy to continue to judge yourself and feel like a burden.
Repress your desires. Your needs. Tell yourself you’re too much, or not enough, or somehow flawed for taking up space.
It is not only safe for you to take up space. It is your divine birthright.
To live your destiny, to realize your potential, to do the things you came to do, and also…
Have fun. Enjoy your life. Love yourself, it is REQUIRED that you honor your needs and desires, not as annoyances.
Not as cute things to indulge in every once in awhile.
No, your needs, desires, emotions and longings are integral to the very essence of your life-force energy and therefore your life.
Why honoring your desires and needs can make you feel like a burden
There’s this thing called the mother wound, and it’s not just for people with poor relationships with their mothers.
It’s a result of patriarchy, a society where women were forcibly quieted, not allowed to speak their minds, not encouraged to follow their passions and their dreams.
A world where we sat down and shut up and made do instead of expressed our true selves, honored our weird impulses and let our free spirits be free.
Many of us were raised by people who themselves do not understand their emotions, why they do the things they do, or know what they really want.
To people who repress every part of themselves, a free spirit is a terrifying thing.
It’s not only a mirror of what they themselves have given up or repressed, but something wildly uncontrollable in a world that relies on fear and control to maintain itself.
One of the greatest freedom begins when you can see this. When you can understand that your parents or whoever you blame for fucking you up — it’s not their fault. They were hurting.
Only people who feel like a burden themselves could possibly raise you to believe that your needs and desires are a burden. Its something a lot of people go through. You’re not alone.
Releasing this requires work. It won’t go away on it’s on.
You have to decide that you’re not a burden, drop the story, and keep working every day to honor your needs and desires deeply. So deeply.
You can create any kind of life you want to.
Be the free spirit, live your dream, be as creative and weird and wild as you want to.
It’s time to give yourself deep permission to honor your needs and desires.
Create space. Tune into your body. What do you want today? What do you need?
What can you release from your schedule so you can give yourself what you need?
Who do you need to risk disappointing so you can do what your heart feels called to do?
We’ve been trained to think this is selfish. That’s inansity!
It’s the most insane thing in the world to consider your desires selfish.
Your desires are the sacred urges that direct your spirit toward its most expansive, beautiful, on purpose life.
When you nourish yourself deeply, everything you need and the world needs naturally overflows from your heart with so much joy. Love. Peace. Compassion. Even your life purpose!
It springs from the overflow, and you elevate the world just by being yourself. That’s how it’s supposed to be.You waking up and living your deepest desires, honoring your needs, is not only the medicine you need. It's the medicine the world needs. Click To Tweet
When we repress or deny our desires, we become tired, miserable and sad and look to other people to receive what we can’t give ourselves. How does that serve anyone?
If you find this difficult, deep healing is in order. You don’t have to feel like a burden.
A lot of the deep healing I did in Bali was related to this.
After my father and sister died, my mom sank into deep depression. I was mad at her for a long time. Recently I connected to this energy I was never before aware of.
This energy of how she must have felt. Her family dead, her just wanting to sink into bed and watch tv and not be responsible for anything.
And yet she had this daughter. A growing teenager with needs and desires and she knows she should be good mother and help her daughter…
But the pain. Why can’t the world just leave her alone?
And my mother, she did the best she could, but often chose to just be alone.
So was I. Alone.
I wanted to be a good girl, so I never bothered people. Never made my needs known. Wasn’t really sure of my desires. Frozen in time, I slept.
Reflecting back on this, I saw through my life, how I had submerged my needs and desires in an effort to receive love, the love I always wanted but never received.
How I kept myself quiet for so many years of my life, always on high alert of what other people wanted or expected from me so I could fulfill their needs all while neglecting my own.
This search for love — the places it led me.
Always looking for something outside myself.
Never listening to my heart, but the siren call of a relentless ego whose desire for outside recognition could never be satisfied because the things I so deeply wanted, I would never let myself have.
I didn’t think I deserved them. That’s what happened when you feel like a burden.
In Bali, I connected to this girl.
I loved her.
I held her.
I hugged her.
I cried so many tears. Tears that never seemed to end.
For the girl that was lost, and now, for the woman that’s found.
And that’s how you honor your needs and desires, and never again feel like a burden.
You connect to the girl within you, the neglected parts of you that never got what you needed to receive.
And you let go of the hope that you will receive it the way you wanted to.
Instead, you give it to yourself.
You heal. You love yourself.
You move on.
(This is what I guide you through step-by-step in my courses.)
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