The contrasting desire to be happy where you are while still aiming for more is a common issue for ambitious, soulful people.
I deal with it alllll the time and recently had a similar discussion with one of my super awesome private clients, who is chasing some seriously big goals.
If you get caught up in judging yourself for wanting more, you fall into too much surrender, soften up too much, and repress your creative potential.
This easily leads to anxiety and depression as you shove yourself into the box of who you think you need to be — a nice girl who doesn’t want too much or long for more.
Yet if you get too swept away by what you don’t have, then you feel miserable and it’s much harder to create what you desire or enjoy your life, which is the whole point anyway.
The answer is to create at a higher level WHILE cultivating immense gratitude for the opportunity to chase your dreams in the first place.
Here are some tips in greater detail:
1. Start each day with gratitude.
In the morning journaling exercise you can download below, I show you how to begin each day feeling beyond grateful for what you have before moving into manifesting magic.
Gratitude is important because you can’t access the creative magic that’s available in the present moment if you’re in resistance.
The ability to follow your dreams and create whatever reality you want to is not something everyone has.
Not chasing your dreams and escaping your duty to express your full potential is selfish because in some way you are hampering the evolution of the universe by staying stuck in fear.
So that’s one thing to be grateful for — the ability to chase your dreams.
Then spend a little more time getting swept up in gratitude for all the ways your life is going right.
Download the full journaling exercise below.
2. Get lost in creating, not overwhelmed by where you are.
What we’re really chasing is not the external money or accolades. We’re chasing the feeling of living at our full potential.
Spend as much time as possible creating, and soon you’ll have created a new reality.
When you first wake up to what you want to be doing, but aren’t doing it, it can be really frustrating to spend that time in limbo, what can feel like purgatory, as you figure out how to make the shift.
It can help to view your current job as a venture capitalist, something you do to fund your dreams.
Stay focused on the prize, be grateful for the paycheck that supports your dreams, and continue taking strong action — impactful action not busy work action — toward your big goal.
This same feeling of frustration can result when you’re working toward purpose goals, but aren’t as far along as you wish.
In my experience, when I feel not as far along as I want, I’m too focused on what other people are doing, or things that don’t matter.
I’ve created a lot in the past almost two years — 5 full courses and several smaller products, but I could have created a lot more if I had stopped looking around for results so much and just kept taking action.
I think a lot of times we resist our true work — even small doses are full-on — so we end up spending most of our time on things we think matter, but don’t really — like obsessing if something is good enough, redoing things that are already fine, or generally spending time on noise.
When you have another job, it’s even more essential to focus on what really matters. Spend time on the few activities that will get you the biggest result.
That will be the most satisfying from a soul perspective and a practical one, too.
3. Embrace frustration. It signals an opportunity to up level.
I’m all about embracing emotions, and frustration is so useful. Frustration is a fantastic sign you have untapped potential.
If you were maxing out your ability right now and living at your full potential, you would not be frustrated.
Even if you’re limited on time, because of paying client work or a full-time job, ask yourself — if I was living at my full potential right now, what else would I be doing?
This is not a time to force yourself to be content or to quiet your vast, untapped reserves of creative potential, which will only make you average and angry.
This is the time to look within and truly look for opportunities to show up in a bigger way.
Often it’s not necessarily a matter of doing more, but just operating at higher a level. Do more of your true work and less of the noise.
Take the next right step your soul is asking you to take instead of worrying where it will go. Click To Tweet
Spending more time on your true work will help you feel more fulfilled and less anxious and annoyed, even if it’s only in small doses, and even if your external reality doesn’t look like you want it to yet.
Let go of the outcome and focus on the effort you’re putting in. Trust that if you keep showing up, keep believing, your external reality will have no choice but to catch up.
4. Allow yourself to evolve.
Just a few months ago, I was no longer pushing the boundaries forward on my personal development or what I was sharing with the world, but instead sharing old discoveries and insights because I thought that’s what people expected from me.
The areas that my heart called me toward were very different from the emotional healing work I had been doing.
I felt more pulled toward learning and writing about how to balance spirituality and ambition. The inner growth side of chasing your dreams and becoming who you’re meant to be. I’m here for smart, creative, soulful people who desire to make a big impact.
(It’s taken me a looooong time to admit that to myself. Pro tip: The faster you admit what you want, the faster you can create it.)
I was scared that the areas I felt called toward didn’t align with what I’d been doing and that I’d have to clear everything I’d worked so hard to build, wash it away and start again with a fresh slate.
The point is that sometimes when you’re feeling discontent with where you are, it’s because there’s a new evolution asking to break through.
I spent a lot of time earlier this year feeling stifled and unhappy and not knowing the cause. It turned out that I was carrying a torch for a message I no longer had unbridled passion for.
As you can see, I still focus on the emotions, acceptance and spirituality, it’s just different. It’s more me, but I never planned on going this direction. I didn’t know it was more me.
It took a lot of time journaling, asking questions and sitting with my frustration to figure out this direction. And then, it took even more time to give myself permission to let go of the people who I thought I was here to help, and understand that it’s okay. If the universe is moving me on there are other people better equipped to help those who I used to feel called to help.
My only responsibility is to live up to my potential, and to trust that my potential is perfectly aligned with the higher good of the world.
To become who you’re supposed to be, you have to let go of previous roles and personalities. Because there’s nothing worse than showing up as who you no longer are to please people outside of you.
You can’t fulfill your destiny if you’re constantly showing up based on what you perceive others’ expectations to be, yet that’s how the majority of people live (or waste) their entire lives. Trying to guess what other people want from them, and giving that to the world.
This ends up being a watered down version of who you are, a version that makes you miserable because you know you’re capable of so much more.
5. Do the inner work to identify any limiting beliefs holding you back.
A lot of times we slow down our progress because of fears keeping us small or stopping us from owning our true power. Sometimes deep down we don’t really want to be successful, even if we think we do.
It’s important to not only do the work that the next level of you would do, but also think like that next level version of you. This is something I help my private clients with. You can get a taste by downloading the journaling worksheet below.
6. Keep showing up and keep the faith.
In this post, I wrote about how we create things instead of get them.
Our lives evolve as fast as we let them, as fast as we do the inner work. All that said, we still don’t have control, but only power.
There is such a thing as divine timing, too.
Do your best, keep showing up and stay committed to the process.
You not only owe it to the world to express your true self, but you owe it to yourself.
If you deny who you are, your mental and physical health will deteriorate.
This is truth.
Any ailment is a gift in disguise because it is a wake-up call.
I am GRATEFUL I got cancer at 27 because I was living a life that wasn’t mine. It didn’t honor the full capacity of my gifts, and in fact when I told a co-worker that I wanted to write about life, he told me there was no market for that and to find new goals.
Meanwhile the Internet was right there all along but my energy was so fixated on following the prescribed roles in life that I didn’t even know this parallel world of people creating their own livelihoods and realities based on who they really are online even existed.
Cancer sent me searching and saved me from wasting my entire life on goals that made me feel like I was dying inside.
If you’re feeling dead inside, don’t ignore that feeling.
Lean into it and ask yourself — what is the next step? What am I curious about? What have I always wanted to do that I haven’t allowed myself?
And don’t you dare give me some bullshit story about how you don’t have time or you’re scared.
This is YOUR LIFE. You will literally die if you don’t express what’s inside of you.
Let go of the need to be accepted and loved by others and love yourself enough to express yourself and be who you are to create the life you’re meant for.
And remember, love hard and live free to become who you’re meant to be,
p.s. Did this resonate with you? If it did, write your thoughts in the comments below and hit the share buttons to spread the love on social media.
Also download my epic morning journaling exercise below to catapult you into the next version of you while being happy where you are.
Download my epic morning journaling exercise for soulful dream chasers
Upgrade your inner world to upgrade your outer world.