- in Books , Into The World , Life Purpose , Mindset
Let what you want come to you (stop chasing goals)
Would you like to learn how to stop chasing goals and allow your desires to flow to you? Perfect! Keep reading.
The other night after dinner my husband and I walked down to the little bar in our neighborhood to have dessert.
The bar itself was packed, but we found two seats next to an older couple who just moved to Arizona from Los Angeles.
The man was older and looked tired. Eventually we started talking and, after telling him what I do, he asked me if I’d read Viktor Frankl’s book Man’s Search for Meaning.
If you’ve never read this book, you definitely should. Frankl was a concentration camp survivor and wrote about how one of the main differences between those who survived and those who died was whether they connected to a deeper sense of meaning.
I love this idea because although I’m very driven, with big goals and dreams, what motivates me is actually not happiness, but meaning. Actually what most drives me is the desire to leave a legacy.
Happiness and sadness are both temporary, and I’ve discovered the more you chase happiness, the further away it runs.
Just as I don’t judge myself for feeling sad, I also don’t obsess over feeling happy. The more I accept everything to live a life that’s true to me, and stop chasing goals, happiness and peace naturally result.
The point of life is to be who we are. When you know who you are, what you value, the truth of your gifts, and how you want to live, the more superficial things naturally and inevitably result.
You receive all your desires just from being, rather than chasing.
Chasing things directly often leads to failure or unhappiness, even if you do receive the superficial goal.
Back when I was a newspaper reporter, I was obsessed with excelling at the small paper I wrote for so I could graduate to the bigger papers.
I wasn’t really happy with my job, but thought reporting big-city stories would be different. I dreamed of winning prestigious awards, and thought they’d make my career worthwhile.
Then one year, I won three awards in one evening. It was actually the year after cancer treatment, so it was this huge victory after a really tough time.
It felt like a high, like they kept calling my name again and again. I felt so sad those days, and every time my name was called, it was this little shot of happy juice. I felt on top of world.
But then the night ended. The high wore off. Consciously I told myself it was only the Arizona Newspapers Association; maybe a Pulitzer high would last longer.
But deeper, I knew it wouldn’t.
I realized in that moment, it wasn’t about the awards, or any superficial anything.
It was about the deeper sense of meaning and fulfillment that I could derive from showing up daily and enjoying the ritual of my life.
How you travel is how you arrive. I decided to stop chasing goals.
So many people set their lives up the opposite way — living to chase happiness or life purpose or money or love or approval — when the core of life is to find meaning in this moment and let the things you want come to you.
These things are not something to find, but natural and inevitable results from planting the right seeds and watering them daily.
They come naturally when we live in such a way as to make our goals inevitable.
Chasing things easily leads people out of alignment. It’s time to stop chasing goals.
I’m not against goals, not at all, but it’s important to tune in and ask — what is the aligned goal, and what is the aligned pathway there?
Even if you’re aligned when beginning, the real risk comes when challenge hits.
People often set goals, working towards them and having fun, and but then — they encounter an obstacle, freak out, and start to think they have to do something they hate to achieve some external outcome.
This happens a lot with money, because so many of us have doubts about whether we really deserve it, can earn it, or misconceptions around what’s required to receive it.
Maybe you tune into your heart and really feel like you’d love to make $50,000 a year doing what you love, just enough so you can quit your job.
You begin taking action steps to manifest that goal into reality, and then encounter a challenge.
The best thing to do is reconnect to your soul and ask how to shift, but what’s more common (and I do this too!) is to freak out.
OMG I’m not worthy of this money. I’m not worthy of receiving this goal. Can I really do it? I don’t think I can. I’ll do ANYTHING. What should I do?
And then you start looking for answers outside yourself, try different things that aren’t soul aligned, and tell yourself, “I just need to suck it up. I’ll do what I need to do, and when I get to this end result, then I’ll be happy.”
This is the definition of chasing, and exactly how chasing goals leads to unhappiness. Stop chasing goals!
When you root down in the knowing that you ARE worthy of your goal, and that you CAN do it, then you don’t identify with the freak out.
Instead, you root down and connect to your heart and ask how you can shift in a way that’s aligned with your soul.
This is why so many very successful people, even people who appear to be living their purpose, end up deeply unhappy.
It’s entirely possible to achieve the more superficial goals — build a successful career. Get married. Have kids. Make the money. Grow the business. Nail the handstand. Maybe even be a writer or a fashion designer or chef.
But if you’re not doing it in a way that’s completely aligned and soulful, then you’re on the wrong path. Living the wrong life.
And you’ll feel that deep in your soul.
You’ll have chased some goal thinking it would make you happy, but instead found yourself on the wrong path, living a life that’s not really yours. That’s why it’s so important to stop chasing goals.
When it comes to alignment with your soul, close just doesn’t cut it.
I’m not saying don’t set goals — of course set goals. Go big. Create whatever you desire. Achieve all the success your heart longs for.
But flow towards it trusting that it’s yours. Trust this is your destiny. Trust that your heart will lead you the way there.
Trust that if you show up every day and get lost in living your life, lost in loving what you do, then all those little moments and tiny actions will add up, and before you know it, all your wildest dreams will come true right before your very eyes, in the most magical way possible, and probably with even more delight and beauty than you ever could have imagined.
So many of us expect life to disappoint us.
But what if we instead trusted that everything we felt inside was real?
And we didn’t have to grip or control to realize our heartfelt dreams.
All you have to do is stop chasing goals, live in alignment, and let your desires come to you.
All we have to do is love ourselves, be ourselves, take action accordingly, and be brave enough to open up and receive all the beautiful things just waiting to flow into our lives.
I like how that sounds.
What do you think?
All the love,
PS — Don’t leave without downloading the world’s most powerful meditation for emotional healing below!