If your desires are making you suffer, here’s what must change

The single biggest shift you can make in life, that will change your life, is to learn how to be inspired by your desires rather than suffer from them.

Many spiritual traditions tell us to stay away from desires, but without desire, you are dead.

You are a lifeless leaf on the wind, helpless against the forces of life, telling yourself to surrender and deep breathe while life piles on top of you, never giving you what you want, and you make up stories in your head about how it’s okay, just keep deep breathing and what ever is meant to be, will be.

Fuck. No.

Desires are the pulsating heart beat of the world.

 

You and I were born by desire (hopefully. You’ll have to ask your parents about that. 🙂 )

My cute furry dog / BFF Jake lying next to me was born because one day I woke up and said, “I have puppies on the brain.”

The Power of Your Subconscious Mind book lying next to me arrived there because I had the desire to go deeper, to shift.

My husband who’s out probably fucking off on a motorized scooter on his day off came into my life because…

Actually that’s an interesting example and a perfect segue because I met my husband after surrendering my desire to the universe.

Before we met, I was living in Portland, drinking it up at all the local bars, hoping to meet my soulmate every night. I’ve always been the kind of girl with a lot of boys around, but the right boys? That’s another story.

I got really tired of boys who didn’t meet my standards, who left me feeling disappointed, and I said forget this! I’m done.

And moved to a town of 1,500 to start my journalism career.

I knew, trusted and believed that as long as I lived my life, and did what was best for me, all the pieces would come together.

And they did. Two months later I met the man who would become my husband at a wedding. We’ve been through it all and I can’t imagine him not by my side. We’ve managed to grow together despite me not being remotely the same person I was when we got married.

But —

This is my point exactly. I knew I wanted love. Knew I was worthy of it. And it’s the knowing of worthiness that allowed me to hold my desire close to my heart, to dream of it, but also sit deep in the peace of knowing it’s all happening.

There was nothing to worry about. Of course I’d find love. I released it from my mind, continued to follow inspired guidance, and POOF! I got married. That’s how manifestation works, even though I didn’t know it then.

As I’ve grown my business over the past few years, and not just as a businesswoman, but as a true soulpreneur who breaks all the rules and does things her way, I’ve worked through a lot of self-worth issues.

I’ve had to learn to identify and believe in my gifts in a deeper way.

I’ve had to learn how to articulate and ask for exactly what I want, unapologetically.

I’ve had to learn how to drop the nice girl bullshit and say what I really think and feel, to hold clients and students to a higher standard because I’ve seen that being a cheerleader does not get people the results.

And I am simply unavailable for people who don’t do the work.

We ALL need to be pushed out of our comfort zone and the worst thing for talented creatives is the culture of coddling that’s become the sad state of society. #anotherstory

There are a few things I’ve learned about desire, how to want things in a way that actually brings them to life, and also how to want things in a way that inspires you rather than creates suffering.

 

1. Desire isn’t the same as resistance.

Too many people suffer because they want things to be different than they are, which is not really desire, but resistance.

True desire is the urge to create something. To take what is and mix your life force energy with the creative force of all that is to birth something brand new and beautiful.

To want things to be different than they are is essentially subtracting things from life when all of life force and creation desires to move forward.

You can’t move forward if you’re resisting what is. So you must accept, and then from that place of acceptance, tune in to see what you want to create.

 

2. Desires must be aligned with your soul.

It’s easy to get obsessed with things and want them because you think they’ll make you good enough, or will make you feel something you feel blocked from feeling on your own.

The truth is, all feelings are available to you at all times, and nothing outside of you can ever make you happy if you’re not inherently happy on your own.

This is same for other things as well. Many people think more money will make them happy or free or safe, but actually, you can feel free or happy or safe now, and being in those states will help more money flow into your life.

Or maybe you’re obsessed with building your business, and think you have to follow stupid rules, but your soul wants to splash paint at the internet and have a party.

Splash paint! Follow your soul. This is what will help grow your business.

The main point is — tune into your soul, ask what you really want, and then give that to yourself. It could be something as simple as a green juice or ice cream. It could be as wild as giving yourself permission to go on the trip you always wanted. Right now.

When you stop feeding your soul in order to fulfill a desire, you’ve lost the point.

 

3. The most important work is to know you are worthy of your desire.

What blocks your desire or causes suffering is not the desire itself, but the feeling that you’re not worthy of it.

The biggest work is always to elevate your self-worth, expand your idea of who you think you are and build out the mental framework until your desire becomes INEVITABLE.

This is the what I help my clients with, along with deep emotional healing to release all pain blocking what you want.

It’s the belief that you’re not worthy that makes you balk when you hit an obstacle, or find out how much an investment is to work with your favorite mentor, or settle for less when you really want more.

It’s easy to blame the external obstacle for blocking you from getting what you want, but the deeper truth is, you don’t believe.

If you believed, you wouldn’t falter. You’d find a way. You’d flow around. You’d ask for guidance, knowing that what you want is already yours.

The problem is that we haven’t been taught how to do this, how to change our internal state so we’re an automatic match for creating the lives we deeply wish for.

This has resulted in people repressing all desires, settling for less than they deserve, and convincing themselves they’re happy with less than extraordinary lives all while secretly judging those with the boldness to go for what they want.

I’ve created an amazingly successful business based on my true soul work and life purpose. I have the freedom to travel where and when I want, to sleep late, to float around in my head all day and limit the number of appointments on my calendar because I hate having to show up at places at certain times, to spend my days reading and writing exactly as I always dreamed of.

My journey hasn’t been perfect. There have been times I’ve wanted to give up. Launches that I’d consider failures. Difficulties, struggles and disappointments that almost broke me.

But I wanted it bad enough. I leaned in and never bought into the stories that said an extraordinary life is for other people.

I made it because I never stopped. And because I’ll never stop, that makes me unstoppable.

I let those difficulties make me strong. Today I’m bold. Confident. Fierce. I’ve become the woman I always wanted to be, and that’s what following desire is all about, anyway.

The good news, it’s a choice. The bad news is most people won’t do what it takes, and will instead choose fear and doubt, and avoid taking risks.

Those people aren’t my people.

This community and my clients are the ones crazy enough to dream the dream and insane enough to actually do it.

Here’s to the crazy ones. May we prosper and thrive and show the world how it’s done.

May our ideas and energy forever change the world.

 

Be sure to download the free meditation below to connect to your soul and discover your true desires!

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