(If you’d like to trust your way to success, you will love this blog!)
For a long time, the term, “dropping in,” meant little to me.
I thought it was some hippie term that referred to, I don’t know, some sober rendition of an acid trip that had nothing to do with anything?
My mind was such a frantic place of worry, fear, doubt, regret and endless planning with never-ending doing that I could not fathom what space in between even meant. Did it really exist? I wasn’t sure.
After my spiritual awakening in 2014, this shifted almost immediately.
I experienced large swaths of thoughtless space, and had several really trippy experiences (also sans acid) that helped me to intellectually understand the one-ness field of energy everyone talks about.
One time in particular, I was petting my dog and but it was like my arms didn’t belong to my body and everything around us was just a sea of energy. I felt like his eyes were looking into my soul and I felt so connected to him beyond the physical level.
This period in time was heaven. It felt so easy to drop in, that is drop into space, to the emptiness within, to the void from which all things are created.
The void that terrifies people so much, causing us fill up with endless thoughts and actions to escape it, is also the Source of all things.
Our power comes from this place and when we fill our minds with endless thoughts and plans, we block ourselves from accessing the pure consciousness energy that actually allows us to create from the soul.
Create without doubt, worry or fear, but with only the pure joy of creating. Of playing with consciousness.
This is the essence of co-creating, connecting our consciousness to source consciousness and using our immense human abilities to manifest, to create something from nothing, borne from consciousness, from the interplay between our small selves and eternal selves.
This requires trust. Immense trust. To feel safe. To let go of all your defenses. To trust that you are where you are meant to be. That you are good enough. That you have everything you need and are always supported. That you are worthy of love. Unconditional love.
To release the eternal, endless conflict of the mind and know that everything is perfect exactly as is.
I had that.
And then, over time, I lost it.
Or forgot it because we can never truly lose this connection. It’s who we are, our birthright.
But knowing that intellectually is different from feeling it.
This inner peace shifted overtime when my blog became a business.
My blog began as (and still is when I let it be) a joyous source of self-expression, a pure way of giving my gifts to the world.
But mixing art and business is a tricky proposition. It’s why so many artists have starved and why so many business people sell out. There is a different way. More on that in a moment!
Over time, I put rules on my art. Demands. Expectations. The worst thing you can do to art or purpose.
It detracts from the essence. Requires it to be something other than it is.
Requirements brought planning, doubt and fear.
And as the fear, planning and doubt intensified, my ability to drop in
And as my ability to drop in got cut off, things worked out less well, which of course created more fear, doubt and planning. The only way out is to
S t o p. Which I did. Earlier this year. For the first six months, I slept, rested, and worked only with existing clients.
And in returning to the work, I’m being asked to learn this in a new way, a way that combines forward motion and business with art and purpose.
A way that combines success with deep, profound levels of space and self-care. I have never done this before. This is what I’m learning.
It’s a tricky business, quite literally because while the world has very many successful people, it has very few people who have created wild success purely from purpose.
Most people make compromises. I am not one of those people.
I intend to create wild success, speak on stages in front of thousands, hold workshops around the world, work with celebrity clients, write a best-selling book, and have a movie made after my life (actually I am in a documentary that’s being filmed right now so this is already kinda becoming true).
And I intend to create this all from soul, purpose, flow and deep, unfailing integrity in who I am and what I have to give.
This requires TRUST. Trust that I am enough, my gifts are enough, that I can earn money for my pure soul work, and without working myself into the ground as so many of us have been conditioned to believe is required for success.
It’s actually pretty miraculous that I was able to learn how to trust at all, because for a long time life terrified me, although I never would have admitted that had you asked.
I felt deeply unsafe, like any terrible thing could happen at any time. I lived on constant high alert, filling my mind with future plans as a way to escape myself, but because I was always running, I could never sit long enough to create.
After my dad and sister died a year apart from each other (my dad died of cancer when I was in 8th grade and my sister killed herself the next year), I remember thinking there was literally nothing in the universe you could count on.
I sometimes wondered if gravity would stop working, and if we’d all float away.
Sure it was a universal law, but really what kept it there? Only the same random, unpredictable and, as I thought then, terrifying universe that abandoned me.
Even walking down the street, I sometimes imagined the road suddenly ending, two jagged, severed lanes mysteriously hanging off into infinity, chunks of asphalt dangling into the abyss, like in an action movie.
I trusted nothing.
This has come up as a reason why I sabotage myself from going bigger in my business. I have an immense fear of building something and having it destroyed. Losing something that means everything to me.
That would hurt.
Now that I’ve realized this I’m working through it, have worked through it, but the fear still comes, the doubt and planning along with it.
Sometimes they seem unrelated, and I have to dig deeper.
We’re taught that planning and analyzing and accounting for all possible outcomes is a good thing.
But that idea comes because our society lives at profound odds with the natural forces, rather than aligning with them.
The new paradigm of creation, of manifesting, of being soul-guided, requires us to trust and be guided.
It’s an entirely new way of life, or rather resurrecting methods that existed in ancient times, but have been lost as civilization sought to control people by convincing them they had no power.
Less thinking, more feeling. More dropping in to receive visions and also asking for guidance on the right next step.
This is how I’ve built and continue to grow my business, along with creating any other goal I have like manifesting friends and powerful female mentors or whatever else.
The basis for this way of living where things flow and feel easy(er) is trust.
When I don’t trust, it’s easy to fall into overwork, over-planning and over-strategizing. This over-reliance on the mind blocks us from dropping in and receiving the guidance, connecting to the faith, and opening up to results that feel easy and like flow.
We think that thinking helps us, but it actually comes from fear and a need to control. It blocks you from receiving the very thing you’re looking for.
Life this way can feel so good and easy that it’s common to sabotage it, freaking out and wondering what else there is to worry about or do. As soon as that happens, we cut off the flow.
Because it’s not pure hard work that creates results, but a deep connection with your soul to receive a divinely inspired vision, the vision that’s meant for you, and then creating space to receive the right next step.
My best, most inspired, forward-thinking ideas come not when I’m hunched in front of my keyboard, but when I’m soaking in the tub or reading a book.
Otherwise it’s like a hamster wheel, always doing the same things over and over without ever finding a breakthrough. Learn from me. I spent two years like that. No more.
It’s time to create from soul. It’s time to make some magic.
And this is truly how I burned out — it wasn’t the work. It was the doubt and fear.
Worrying whether I was good enough. Whether my work was worthy.
I will no longer let my doubts or fears keep me from my birthright of deep peace and divine support to realize my dreams.
That doesn’t mean the problems go away immediately, but rather I now have the awareness to work through them rather than unconsciously reacting and perpetuating old patterns.
For example right now I’m blogging every day, and last night I was feeling as if I’m on a hamster wheel. “Too much content; I can’t handle it,” was my mantra.
But intellectually I know that my blog only takes about an hour, maybe a little longer to write. What actually takes the most time? Worrying if it’s good enough. Reading it over and over again, worrying if people will like it.
Then the question becomes — what if I just didn’t worry?
What if I released it to the world and trusted that it was good enough.
And so this morning I felt a little tired. I have so many ideas. I have an idea for a free training for the whole community and then an idea for a program called Unstuck to help you….get unstuck and begin creating forward momentum in your life in a very powerful way.
The old me would have plowed through her fatigue and kept going. Must. keep. creating.
But today, I wrote the first draft in the morning, and then took a bath, dropped into some guided meditations, and am now doing the final edits and scheduling everything quickly before dinner.
I received a few divinely inspired ideas in the tub, and will take action on them when my energy returns.
In the meantime, I rest. I trust that I am supported and taken care of, and that I will go further faster by listening to my body and soul rather than fighting them.
Driven dreamers like us with huge visions must often first learn how to fully receive.
We can’t fully give unless we fully absorb — energy, epiphanies, art, money — true unleashing of divine purpose comes from a well rested and juicy soul, not a dried out, depleted one.
For some reason, it can be a hard lesson to learn. Feelings of unworthiness get in the way.
We must always remember —
Purpose isn’t what we do, but who we are.
It’s time to exhale.
And drop in.
So we may grow.
So come on, let’s go —
It’s time to show the world who you really are.
Did this resonate with you? Please share this blog on social media or comment with your thoughts below!
All the love,
OMG I am so in love with the Starlets!
This is literally the most high-vibe group on the planet. Everyone coming in is super aligned, and that makes me so happy, and affirms that all the energy work I’ve done on the group itself is for sure working.
We are currently doing a 30-day Born to Shine Challenge where everyone has committed to some daily goal to become the person they most want to be.
We also have a thread where everyone is sharing their soulful businesses and offerings. Not everyone has a business, or even wants one! But it’s just a great, supportive environment where everyone is really helping each other.
I’m SO excited to see the connections and community forming. That was my biggest intention in creating the space.
A place to uplift dreamers and fill them with inspiration so they can give the world their greatest gifts.
The Society of Spiritual Starlets is the membership community for driven dreamers who want to release past pains, learn to believe in themselves, live from the soul, and work with the magic of the universe to realize their wildest dreams.
It’s also where you can receive my guidance and support for a very low cost, but super high value!
If you’re feeling like you’d love to connect with other driven dreamers and infuse your life with more soulful magic, then join us! What are you waiting for?!